Disclaimer - Author:
"Yes, I own it! It´s mine, yep! I´m also a green elephant and live on the
moon. Why you´re asking?"
Jimmy Wolk: "Nah, he´s just kidding. He´s an ORANGE elephant!"
Chapter 1: Married...
It was a beautiful morning in Neo Tokyo 3. The sun was shining, the birds were
singing and bees were... well, you know about flowers and bees...
That beautiful morning, Shinji Ikari awoke with a serious headache.
'Oww. Damn Misato and her parties', he thought groggily. 'Damn
whoever came up with the idea to raid her beer supply after she passed out...'
'MORNING?!?' His eyes shot up in an instant, the headache quickly
forgotten. Slowly he turned his head around, facing a certain red-haired
roommate doing just the same.
"AAAHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??" both screamed, while bolting up
and jumping away from each other.
"B-but this is my room!" Shinji protested.
"Oh yeah? I bet you hentai waited till I was drunk to drag me here!"
"Ah...eh...well...at least we still have our clothes on, so we didn’t...
well...eh," Shinji stammered.
Bad idea. Suggesting something like THAT is probably the last thing you should
do in front of a fuming Asuka.
In less than a second her fist made contact with his face. But in addition to
the usual impact there was something else... something scratching...
"Ouch! Hey, since when do you wear rings?" he whined.
"Huh? What do you mean?" she asked perplexed, before checking her
hand and indeed, there was a plain, sliver ring on her finger. "Now, that
is weird. But I...eh..." she trailed off, pointing at Shinji.
"Hm? What?" He looked at the hand he was holding his face with. There
was an awful similar ring on it. They exchanged a fearful glance.
But they didn´t fail to notice a piece of paper on the desk.
A piece of paper that looked amazingly similar to a wedding certificate, issued
to Mr. Shinji & Mrs. Asuka Langley Ikari.
Yes, it was a beautiful morning in Neo Tokyo 3. The sun was shining, the birds
were singing and the screams emitting from the Katsuragi residence were louder
'Hm, it´s definitively not the reaction I´ve expected...', Shinji
thought, watching his guardian and superior Misato Katsuragi laughing her lungs
out after listening to their story, as far as they could remember (which wasn´t
"Well, that story almost made up for the loss of all of my precious
beer", she wiped away a tear from her laughing.
"Ha Ha! Veeery funny!" Asuka scold.
"Oh, you don´t think so, Mrs. Ikari?" Misato teased.
"Don´t you DARE calling me that! This 'wedding' can´t be legal! What kind
of law would allow two drunken teenagers to marry? I bet this is just a cruel
joke of you!"
"Oh, I´m afraid, I have to disappoint you. Due to the death of half of the
humanity after Second Impact, most countries declared a lot of laws to
encourage family development and thus a raise in birthrates. That included the
decrease of contraceptives, as well as extremely loosened wedding
"What? I´ve never heard of such nonsense!"
"Well, many countries have dropped them later. However Japan was not one of them."
"Arrgh! Of all countries I have to work in the Las Vegas of Asia! Fine, if
this can´t be undone, we´re getting divorced as soon as possible!"
"Uh, I don´t think it will be that easy. You see, in addition, they
decided to keep the number of divorces as low as possible by setting up an
extrem amount of bureaucracy and conditions. You´ll have to go to a marriage
counseling, for example."
"Um, Misato, how come, you know that much about this?" Shinji asked
nervous about this hole situation.
For the first time since they sat down at the kitchen table, Misato´s grin
dropped and she turned slightly red. "Well, lets say, I´ve barley evaded
of being Mrs. Kaji by now..."
"As if you would mind! And you baka, get up, we´re getting divorced right
"B-but, haven´t you listened?"
"Baka! We´re going to someone powerful enough to compel a special
condition from the government. I won´t stand being married to you a whole
"The Commander, of course!"
"F-father?" 'This day is getting better every second...'
"You´ve got a problem with that, pilot Sor... Ikari?" Commander Gendo
Ikari struggeled hard to maintain his trademarked
'cold-hearted-bastard-behavior' instead of rolling laughing on the floor of his
The Second Children obviously cringed, being addressed like that, but dared not
to shout at the Commander of NERV. "To be honest: Yes, I have!"
"That´s not of my concern..."
Asuka turned to her involuntary husband. "Geez, baka, you´re his son! Say
"Eh... well... you know, you´re his daughter-in-law now yourself..."
Wrong answer -> Fist/Face-connection.
The older Ikari cleared his throat. "As I said, since this won´t affect
your piloting, NERV´s superiority will not be used for such an insignificant
matter. You will handle this... situation in the usual way. You are
"Yes, Sir", came one mumbled and one peeved answer.
Once the door was slammed shut, Fuyutsuki finally spoke up. "You think
that was wise, Ikari?"
"Yui always wanted a big family", the Commander shrugged. "And
knowing my son, he won´t getting closer to that than now..."
A/N: Well, there it is: A short little, introduction to my third project.
Originally, I planned this as a one-shot, most likely set after a
prevented/failed TI, but I got curious to see what it would be like during the
series. So I´ve decided to mix it with some other ideas I had and make it a
continuation. Maybe I will still do the one-shot-version, as well. I´m not
sure, if I´m going through the entire rest of the series, since I´m doing that
with 'The 2nd try' already. And as I said, I will focus on that first, since
I´ve planned it out more, so it could take a while before there will be the
next chapter of 'The Ikaris'. Until then, see ya...